Level 87 Barb Kills Level 43 Sorc on Battle.net

Horrified Onlookers Shocked at Atrocity

Here we see BulzSmash, Lvl 87 Barbarian captured on surveliance camera in a local brothel

Lut Gholen-- Baron BulzSmash, a level 87 barbarian slayed yet another innocent level 43 sorceress today on Battle.Net's popular US East server. Witnesses were stood by in aghast horror as the charachter did 400 points of damage (plus lightning damage from 2 stones of Jordan) against a level 43 sorceress who's name is the police are not releasing, as she is a minor.

The atrocity is especially amazing considering that the 400 points damage (plus lightning damage) is more then twice total number of hit points poor victim (name withheld) had at this stage in the game. The crime occured in a nightmare classed game entitled 'act2 coop q1-5' late sunday evening. Several witnesses were also in the game attempting to acquire the last component of the elusive Horadrics Staff.

One of them, Saiyon6, a level 48 Paladin comments 'what a fucker. I mean, he's level 87, and he sits in nightmare games stalking low level chars. He would wait at the front gates of Lut Gholen for players to run out into the desert. Then he'd go hostile on them and slay them in a single blow. He musta got 3 people that way in 10 minutes. We were all gonna gang up on him, but then b.net crashed. Fucking homos at Blizzard."

Mike Tyson dragging the small faggy teletubbie to the locker room for a private beating.

Murders of this type aren't uncommon on battle.net, as zit faced 13 year old amass billions of experience points and decide that since they are unable to level any longer, that they should instead hunt weaker players for sport. AxlR0z3 says "Hunt" isn't exactly the word for it since the difference between a level 87 Barb and a level 44 Sorceress is approximately the same as the between Mike Tyson beating the mother fucking shit out of one of the teletubbies. And not the big blue one, I'm talking about the little red faggy one with the purse. If there's one thing I hate more then Blizzard, its the teletubbies."

NecroPh33l (Lvl 78 Necro), who has currently logged more hours in Diablo 2 then he spent doing homework during his sophomore and junior years combined attempted to explain the fun behind the uncalled for murder.

Once you get fucking powerful its just dumb as shit to keep killing this monsters. I mean, b.net's so fucking lame, it lags all the time anyway, so all you really can do is start pk'ing [Player Killing] the dumbshits becuase they can't kill you. Fucking blizzard. I didn't pay for this crap-ass game, but I burned a copy from joe and warez's a key, I don't care cuz I didn't pay. Fucking losers paid for this shitty net. I won't buy any shit from blizzard since they released Broodwar and fucked up starcraft. Dicks. I still haven't found a fucking Ume's Lament.

Tammy Benson, a classmate of of NecroPh33l (or, 'Phil' has he's sometimes referred to outside of Diablo 2, Ultima Online, and Q3A) confirms it "Yeah one time Phil asked out Alice, and she was like, FUCK him, cuz he's all like, gross, ya know? I mean, he dresses like something out of a bad 80s movie directed by that lame guy. And he has got that nasty greasy hair. Plus he's always talking about those stupid video games and how something named Blizzard or something sucks, and I'm like Shut UP, I don't CARE! I don't think he's ever had a date, especially not since he always gets punched by Todd and Jeremy during lunch. What a fucking a-hole. If he'd just shut up maybe they wouldn't punch him all the time.".

An anonymous high level barbarian pk'er agreed to talk with me if I promised not to reveal his nick to anyone (It is 0xDUDE). He admitted to pk'ing numerous players with level differences of between 30 and 50. When asked simply "Why" he revealed "In real life if I beat up a 7 year old, my teacher would probably tell my mom. But in D2 I can fuck 'em up and who are they gonna cry to? Blizzard? Blizzard fucking sucks. They're so gay. Besides what do people expect me to do with my free time? Mow the lawn? Fuck my mom. Fuck chores. Fuck Blizzard. B.Net fucking sucks."